The Emoji Movie. Where shall I begin? Okay, let’s get it out of the way right now and tell you that this movie is really not good.
The film tells the story of the Meh emoji 😐, called Gene, who wants to be like every other emoji in Textopolis (yes, really) and be a working emoji who gets scanned when chosen by the user for a message 📱. The user in this case is Alex 👦 who is using emojis to try and impress a girl 👧 (yes, really!!!). Gene gets into all sorts of trouble because of a so-called “malfunction” he has. This is significant because, according to the movie, emojis are the most important form of communication (YES, REALLY!!!). As you may have gathered, the plot is pretty appalling- although calling it a “plot” is generous. Nothing makes much sense and later on, solutions are invented for problems miraculously out of thin air🌫️.
Our hero, as I said, is Gene, played by T. J. Miller, who goes on his adventure with High Five 🖐️, voiced by James Corden, and a hacker called Jailbreak ⛓️, voiced by Anna Faris. The characters aren’t exactly poorly voiced, but they are poorly written 📄 and they come across as one-dimensional personalities; everyone has their function or expression and that is all they are. There is an entirely unjustified and meaningless plotline with Gene’s parents where they have marriage problems 👰 but because the characters only have their one emotion, it comes from nowhere and makes no sense. The hacker is the stand out, but not even she can deal with this turd. Speaking of that, the Poo Emoji 💩 is voiced by the legendary Partick Stewart and not even he can do anything with the script he is given.
The main problem with this film is how soulless it is 👻. There is such little humour and everyone and everything seems pointless and heartless 💔 . The inclusion of plot devices involving Candy Crush, Spotify and Dropbox (I’ve run out of “yes, really” energy) just makes it seem even more so because there is no reason for their inclusion. They are thrust into the plot and it comes across as just a dastardly cash grab 💰 💰 💰 with some advertising. Never have I walked out of a movie before and felt like it was purely there to take my money.
Enough has been said about this film now. The Emoji Movie comes across as a worthless and shameless cash grab. Perhaps there were some good ideas skirting below the surface here but they are all put to waste. They took the cameos from Wreck-It Ralph and the emotions of Inside Out and turned them into pale imitations, making the cameos long useless segments and the emotions into single expression characters where in Inside Out they were able to feel many emotions despite being labelled as one, allowing reasonable character growth. Anyway, as I said, enough has been said. I smiled once (at a song) and chuckled twice so I shall give a quarter star for each of those. The worst movie of the year so far. Get busy living.